Monday, April 22, 2013

WTF?....Why so Much HATE and EVIL in the World? WHY?

The past couple of months have left me physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted.  I have started this blog numerous times, thought about it in my head on rides, on long plane flights and every time I’m faced with the darkness of the world.  Obviously, the events in Boston this week have caused me once again to revisit my writing.  Sadly, there is so much, everyday, Boston was just an accumulation to the atmosphere of hate and darkness seeping into every corner of our world. 

There are days I simply look at the posts scrolling through Facebook and I wonder what has happened to the world.  What has happened to respect, dignity, and intelligent dialogue?  Is it because I live in Africa?  Is my perspective skewed?  Influenced?  I am sure it is.  Perhaps when I lived in the US I operated like most Americans, watch the blip of war, famine, starvation, bombings, evil, and then turn the channel, or call friends and meet up for dinner.  I do not do that anymore.  I see it, it stays with me and my world has been getting darker because if it.

When did the good people of the world become so bullied by the vocal, nasty, minority they simply walk away?  When did our lights stop shining so brightly?  Have the vocal minority of darkness, cynicism and ignorant ranting chipped away at our soul too much?

It came to a head for me the week Margaret Thatcher passed away.  The Iron Lady, one of the first women to break the glass ceiling of politics.  I was in Europe shortly after her death and prior to her funeral.  I do not know all the ins and outs of her politics while she was Prime Minister.  I was graduating from high school during the Reagan/Thatcher years.  I had more important things on my mind, graduating, college and boys.  One thing I know.  Margaret Thatcher blazed a trail the women in the US STILL have not walked. 

Upon hearing of Margaret Thatcher’s death, Geri Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice of the Spice Girls, tweeted, "Thinking of our 1st Lady of girl power, Margaret Thatcher, a greengrocer's daughter who taught me any thing is possible...x."

Here’s the thing, I do not care what you believe politically.  I do not care if you approved or disapproved of Margaret Thatcher’s policies and governance.  Do NOT spew your views on this blog. 

Margaret Thatcher was a woman all women could learn from.  She played on the biggest political field and shaped not only the UK but the US as well.  She was a woman who did not back down.  Things were probably not easy for her in that political arena of the 80’s, but she led.  I cannot, for the life of me, understand why people would so vehemently hate her so much so they would cause a good woman, who made a great statement to delete it for fear of appearing…good?

The days before her funeral I was in Europe and the biggest news story was the use of the song, “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” to be played on all the radio stations in the UK celebrating her death!  I cannot even stomach the thought.  She was a woman, a leader, your leader UK citizens; you should be ashamed of your blasphemous behavior.  I am not a fan of Barack Obama.  I did not vote for him.  It has nothing to do with him as a man; it is simply a difference of politics.  If President Obama died tomorrow I would be sad.  I would remember him for the path he too blazed for minorities in America.  I would never “celebrate” his death.

If you were a woman joining in these “festivities”, you have set the course of women leaders back decades.  Are you jealous you did not have the balls to do something so great?  I am just done with women tearing other women down. 

Luckily, Geri Halliwell did not stay silent.  She rethought what she had felt pressured to do and came back in support of her original tweet.  THANK you Ginger Spice for finding your strength, for shining your light on the darkness pervading the UK.

Recently, I have begun defriending people on Facebook.  I would not have a Facebook account if it wasn’t part of my job with the team pages for Rwanda and Ethiopia.  You spew hate, you are deleted.  I do not want to see the world through your haze of evil, go elsewhere.  I used to warn people.  I used to attempt to have a reasonable conversation.  I found both were futile.

The other day I put up a post about the UCI and President Pat McQuaid being endorsed by the Cycling Federation of Ireland for another term as UCI President.  The vote was 5 to 1 in favor.  The “1” resigned.  That was his prerogative.  Because I support the UCI and Pat McQuaid does not mean I will tear the “1” to shreds because he did not agree with how I view the situation.  Instead, I respect his right to resign.  Unfortunately, others do not have the ability to respect differences of opinion.  Within an hour of posting the link on the Team Rwanda Cycling Facebook page (the team supports McQuaid and UCI) and my personal page as well, I had a paragraph long response from the same person who has been warned repeatedly about posting his narrow, myopic viewpoint.  Instead of accepting our right to disagree, he feels compelled to spew all the reasons why he is right and we are wrong.  He apparently rode in Kenya decades ago so it obviously makes him an expert on current African Cycling.  Instead of wasting my typing, I simply hit delete and smiled.  I’m sure if he reads this blog he will feel the need to respond, and I will simply delete….and smile.  I choose to focus on the good.

And frankly, why is he right and I am wrong?  Why does the media dictate what is “right” and what is “wrong” as far as our thinking and WHY do we listen to them?  A friend of mine had a great post the other day about CNN and their reporting.  

“I really wish the news would go back to the days of reporting confirmed reports rather than unconfirmed stories.  I would like the real facts, not someone’s theory on what might have happened.  “We don’t know” is better than conjecture.”

I would prefer to simply have the facts and not their speculation on what they THINK they know.  That is ridiculous!  When did journalism become about speculation?  And then, in the end, they got it horribly wrong with their “dark skinned man arrested” story.  Be careful what you believe.

So, back to good and evil, lightness and darkness….

There is so much evil in the world and I believe in Africa I am exposed to more than normal.  Or perhaps I am not able to numb myself with distractions as I once did in the US.

Last week I read an article about the Congolese military bragging how after driving the M23 out, they raped 126 women in a village 30 kms from Goma, which is 60 kms from my house in Rwanda.  They bragged about raping children.  I was sick to my stomach.  How does this happen in an area with the highest concentration of UN forces in the world?  It happens because apparently, the UN and its forces have lost their moral compass.  The UN mandate of do not fire unless fired upon seems woefully unethical and immoral as women and children are raped on their watch.  When did the rogue Congolese soldiers get a free pass to evil?  Where is the good?  Who are the good?  Sadly, they did the same thing in Rwanda 19 years ago this month. 

Rwanda in April you are reminded of evil at every turn.  I walk by the genocide memorial as I walk Zulu each day.  This month the memorial is overflowing with flowers.  The other day there was a remembrance ceremony as Zulu and I walked by.  Thinking about all the things I had seen and read over the past couple of weeks a chill went up my spine.  We have not seen the end of genocide.  I pray for Rwanda they have, but in the rest of the world, with such hate at every turn, do I believe it is possible, another genocide?  Absolutely.

And then there’s Boston.  The act itself was tragic, the bombing, the lives maimed and taken.  What has bothered me most, however, has been the perceived forum people have taken to renew the talk about gun control, terrorism, religion and to simply just be nasty.  I read an amazing article about Carlos Arrendendo, the man in the cowboy hat who jumped in a started saving people injured in the blast.  As I read the story about Carlos I cried and as I scrolled down into the Comments Section I became angry.  How dare people pick him apart from their cozy barcalounger in nowhere USA?  I do not understand this ferocity.  Is it because they were not there to bask in the limelight of a New York Times piece?  Are they jealous?  Is that really what all this hate boils down to?  Ego?

Two days ago I kept going back to bed.  I just did not feel like doing anything.  I had this overwhelming sense of defeat.  Why should I care when no one else does?  What does it matter?  In the end, the good will just be torn down by the jealous, petty and evil on the VEM.  And then I realized, if I gave up I would be like all the other good people who just decided to slink away, to not engage and to let the evil have their platform.

Today, in the Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam after a fitful night of flying I could not find my grounding.  My head was spinning.  I am worried about Zulu, he has been sick and has not eaten for two days.  I’ve been sick for four weeks.  I am coming back to the US, which becomes more and more difficult every time.  I am unsure about my future in Rwanda.  I want to do more work in Ethiopia.  I am definitely not grounded. 

I walked into the Meditation Center at the airport and found an English Bible and opened it to this devotional. 

John 1:9, the Bible says the Word of God is the true Light.  It’s the Sword of the Spirit with which you pierce your way through the darkness of life.  If the true Light dwells richly in you, fear, defeat, failure, and all other result of darkness won’t have any place in you.  You won’t fear because the true Light will show you that God has not given you the spirit of fear.  You won’t be defeated because you’ll see that greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

I used to feel self-conscious about professing my religion but I would like to thank the VEM for renewing my spirit and my fight and for God and my beliefs for providing the foundation of good on which I stand.

I will not back down.  I will not let nasty language and spewage of hate go unchecked.  I will call you on it and I will continue to spread the light of my life and frankly not give a rat’s ass how that makes YOU feel.  You are dark and I am light, we are light. 

Think about this for one second…..what have you done to make someone’s world better today advertently or inadvertently.  A few minutes ago I looked over at the two older gentlemen sitting next to me in the café at the airport.  After my second cappuccino the pee pee dance was going to commence.  I could either pack up all my crap and walk the 20 feet to the restroom, or I could simply ask them to watch my laptop and suitcase.  I asked and they agreed but asked me to take my purse.  Five minutes later I returned and they both looked at me and smiled and told me, “Thank you for trusting us.”  I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled and the one man sitting next to me told me it really made his day to know someone would trust him, a complete stranger would trust him. 

Maybe we should all just try a little harder to believe in the good of others and the world and maybe, just maybe we should be the light shining in all the dark corners of this world.  I am going to believe there is still more light than dark.


  1. I understand where this is getting at, i felt alot of pain and suffering, but right now i still feel the pain within my heart growing stronger along with my darkness. I had woken up and realized there is to much hate and evil in this world of ours. I may have friends and family but i still feel so alone in this world, then i questioned myself why i should exist in a world that would get me killed. Human beings was once a peaceful and trustworthy race but now this world has become corrupted, broken and incomplete and most of the humans in this world are giving into hate and evil, because that humans are fighting and killing each other and going to war against each other, i have grown sick of all this that i wanted to erase my existence so i wouldnt have to be reborn in this world. But then i questioned myself again, why isn't the president doing something about all of this, unless obama does not know the truth. So if anyone reads this comment of mine then i shall leave a question behind that must be answered. How would you confront this hatred and evil, to destroy it, in order to create true peace? I want an answer. If we cant find the answer to this question then we wont be able to save this world or the human race. But the answer must be the correct one. The only one that would answer a question like this would have to be obama but if someone like him does not have the correct answer does not deserve to be president. The president is supposed to be the leader and the leader is suppose to lead the people of this world to a utopia. But as of right now he is not doing a damn thing to actually lead this world to peace. I want human beings to understand and trust each other but i dont have the power because i dont have a correct answer to this question of mine.

    1. I once lived in nyc. It became a night mare. I felt so lost. People arguing, I lost my senses. After 911. I gave notice to my employer three months in advance after almost 9 years. Tryed real estate, hated it. Went to school. Still paying for it. Became a janitor just to stay away from people. Finally I left leaving a trail of debt and heart ache. Never found peace only pain in the world.

    2. I once lived in nyc. It became a night mare. I felt so lost. People arguing, I lost my senses. After 911. I gave notice to my employer three months in advance after almost 9 years. Tryed real estate, hated it. Went to school. Still paying for it. Became a janitor just to stay away from people. Finally I left leaving a trail of debt and heart ache. Never found peace only pain in the world.

  2. You are not alone. i love you. a very wise man once said "humanity is an ocean. just becuase a few drops are dirty. does not mean the entire ocean is dirty." hold your light close. this place will do evertything in its power to extinguish it.

  3. The reason simply for all this hate, is all humans, no matter how strong or weak....... is the pain and humiliation in being born into a reality of true unequality. If all humans were on a level playing field of life, no need for hate nor darkness, yet not the need for light either. The issues lie within the pit of mankind's heart. True feelings command life's law. Something in existence must possess of form of absolute equilibrium. It must, somehow...somewhere...

    1. If there was a level playing field, those who think they are superior to the rest of us, or want much more than their fair share of the material things in life, would hate everybody else - so there would still be hate and darkness. It's called human nature. Not everybody wants a level playing field and especially not those who rule the roost and own most of everything. I assume that in the past when there were very few humans around and they lived in small communities as hunter-gatherers, one of them would say "I'm the chief and you will do as I say so start by building me a big house" thus creating a state of ill-feeling amongst the rest. There has never been a level playing field. Destroy the human race and you solve the problem.

  4. Definitely agree with Anon about inequality. Definitely.

  5. The world is evil because it was created by an evil false "god"and hence, he's the ruler of it.

    That's not the real world.

  6. Wow. I have been sitting here in my cozy barcalounger writing words that seem to mirror yours quite exactly, save the date and central dying figure. No, today, in February of 2016, Valentine's Day to be precise, the dead is the US Supreme court judge scalia, but the sentiments are the same. I am shocked and saddened and deeply, deeply moved by what appears to be the total lack of intelligence and compassion and sympathy in the world around me.

    It feels to me like the final straw on a load i have been carrying, well... always. I have hit a wall, too, after unfollowing nearly every human I have on my facebook account, packing up from my very busy life in DC to move to a homestead in the still remote and beautiful Southern Appalachians. I have retreated from television and all the other distractions that blur your vision to the suffering and darken your heart to the love that is still out there.

    I am even more resolved, as you spoke here, to engage fully, to spread love, and not fear/hate. I just have to figure out some days, how to get out of bed, is all... Your words will help me today, thanks <3

    SO MUCH LOVE!!!!! KEEP AT IT! <3

    1. Jacquie....I completely understand. If I didn't have to use Social Media for my work with the team I would get off everything! The vitriol is nauseating. Luckily I just read the following tribute Justice Ginsberg gave to her friend, Scalia. We need to remember, most of the people on the internet are simply trolls, unhappy people demeaning others to make themselves feel better. WE need to keep spreading the love even when they beat us down. Remember that before you get out of bed in the morning. If they keep you in bed, they win. We cannot let that happen.

  7. Thank you for this from the bottom of my heart. I have been so sad lately looking at the world around us. I wake up thinking "what is the point?" more and more everyday. I don't want to be sad and I don't want to raise my young kids without hope. I am keenly aware that they will grasp what view I have of the world. I want them to see better than I do.

    Thank you for making me feel refreshed and providing me with a new perspective.

    God bless.

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  12. I do believe there is still light shinning so strong that translates into hope. However, there is so much evil and people seem to don't care, or perhaps they have other things to care about like earning more money, buying a new car, or looking more attractive. Yes, all that sounds pretty normal and innocent for many people, but while we still care for those things, we won't be able to really care for the world. We all need to make a great effort and stop pampering ourselves so much.

    But to tell you all the truth, I don't have hope in humanity, even though there are great people in the world. we have reached a point where little changes mean nothing anymore. Maybe something really big and bad need to happen to clean this world from so much evil. I wish this will happen soon because I don't wanna keep living in a world where so many innocent lives have to suffer from men's greedy.

    However, my biggest desire is that good people, those willing to really make a change will work and fight with angels that come to earth to erased evil from the earth surface once and for all. I know I am daydreaming, but these kind of dreaming makes me happy and feel some kind of hope.

    Well, thanks for reading and have a great day everyone. (sorry my not so good English)

  13. There is more good than bad. But a kiss on the cheek isn't like a punch.

  14. I know my comment is delayed from when you wrote this, but I've been feeling so many of these things lately. Especially about the defeat, it's like why try anymore. I've always been someone who's wanted to be a "light in the dark" and all that. When I feel like I just want to give up, since the hatred and violence of the world only seems to be increasing...I think, but if *I* give up, too, then that's just one less person trying to make it better, so more of the darkness and hate wins. I suppose, my goal shouldn't be to try to stop/prevent the hate...but at the very least, I can just be one less hateful more loving/compassionate/forgiving/open-minded/non-callous person. Is there a point? Maybe that's the only point. I question so much. Maybe we're all just given different roles to play in life, including the bad ones/people doing awful stuff. Maybe my role is just to be one of the ones balancing out the bad with the good. I don't know. I agree living outside of America changes your perspective, too. The world gets smaller...problems that seemed distant and foreign and not even a part of our "world" suddenly seem real, closer, all that. I certainly get way more affected by the news of the wars going on right now than I did before. So sadly I agree with you's harder just to turn the other way and sit back in your cushy chair and pop your popcorn. Sometimes the bad in the world seems overwhelming and I just don't see the point (I mean, the overall philosophical/spiritual point). But as long as I'm alive I will just try to do my part not to add to the dark/bad/hate and even better, provide some good and relief. Even if there's no point. Even if it won't solve anything. That's all I can do. :(