Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Quality of Your Life

I received this quote from Forest, Forest Gump:

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on , or blame.  The gift is yours -- it is an amazing journey -- and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins." 

I have read this quote a dozen times over the last couple of days.  I think we all have a hard time letting go of what we think we "should" be doing and grabbing a hold of what we really want to be doing.  It's that proverbial leap of faith.  Sometimes we say we don't really know what we want to be doing, but I think that's a lie.  Deep down, all obstacles can be removed or diverted if you really want.  

One thing I know is that I'm too old to not be doing what I want to be doing and to be doing it all alone.  The older I get, the more I live this less than normal life, I have come full circle to knowing what is important to me.  The adventure is not the journey, the people you meet along the journey and the ones that stand by you during the journey are the true adventure.  

I am not willing to sacrifice relationships or time lost with the ones I care about.  That has been the most difficult realization while I am here trying to do my best to help others.  

Last night I was on Facebook and I was chatting with Max.  Max is with the Team in India at the Commonwealth Games.  Out of the blue he simply typed, "I miss you Kim."  Max is like a son to me...or maybe a really younger brother.  I miss him, miss my animals in Rwanda, miss the Team...and all the people that make up my friends, my "family" in Rwanda.  

I just got off Skype with my friend, Kim, in Aspen...I miss my friends, my "family" in the US.  How lucky am I to have two circles of family in my life?  I feel loved and safe and secure and happy in both worlds.

...and here I sit between them in an apartment in Nairobi alone.  

....-- and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins.
....Jenny

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