Last night I posted on my Facebook status update, "just got home to Rwanda.." Several people commented on the use of the word "home". At the moment it was written I had just stepped off a plane after flying 19 hours in a day and a half. However, I did not use the word "home" in a state of jet lag induced haze. I was home. I felt home. When the plane began its descent into Kigali and the wheels got closer to the ground a smile gradually eased across my face and I took a deep breath. Home is where your heart is.....right now, my heart lies in Rwanda.
This feeling is real, however, I also am cognizant of the effect my love of this life has on my previous "home". I do not say this to slight my friends, family and loved ones back home. Their love and support is priceless. It was so nice to see everyone this past month and to catch up on life in Vegas. I am forever grateful for the support system there. But being back in Las Vegas was difficult. I felt out of place, unsure of myself, some of the old feelings I had before I found my calling kept haunting me. Perhaps it is the place itself. I grew up in Kansas and I think I'm more a country girl at heart than I care to publicize.
This morning when I woke up the sun was shining and all the sounds of the birds, avocados falling off the trees hitting the roof, Rambo chopping wood were all so comforting. I walked outside and was greeted by Joseph, our day guard. He was so happy to see me and I him. I missed the quiet of the mornings. I do not hear cars and planes and do not have the "rush" of getting somewhere in the morning. My mornings here are so peaceful. But before I wax too nostalgic, I have been out of water since last night. For some strange reason, it just does not phase me anymore.
My heart is in Rwanda. I have tried to explain the feeling that comes over me from time to time since I first got here. I have this feeling of COMPLETE contentment with my path in life. That is not an easy thing to find. I know, I've searched decades for it. As I was going through the market today, buying vegetables, greeting my "preferred farmer girls", it came over me. I feel so comfortable so at peace among a throng of Rwandans selling their wares in an open market. I am the ONLY Muzungu in the place and I feel like I belong. It is completely unexplainable to most people.
A friend of mind said to me right before I left, "Kim, you are so fortunate. To be able to pursue your dream, your passion and have the ability to make it happen....most people never get that chance." He's right. I have found my passion, my place in life for now and I will not take it for granted. I am a blessed girl!
Now...I've got three containers of bikes to distribute and a lot of joy to spread to farmers. One bike will change their life....this one bike has changed mine.